Coming down the hill driving home tonight, Yellowstone stretched out before me, it struck me that, for the first time in over a year, I could see where I was going.
The sagebrush stretched out before me, sunlight reflecting off scattered patches of diminishing snow. I could see for miles. There is so much space...
It also struck me then that really like being able to see where I'm going - in my environment, and in my life.
I think many people reach a point in their life when they think, "I should probably know where I'm going by now."
Several people have shared this thought with me recently.
We are all, by the way, single and in our mid-30s.
So the question comes out -
If you ARE single and in your 30s, with no family or significant other to be planning around, is it as important for you to have a solid committed plan of where you're going to go with your life?
Granted, having a solid life plan would probably reduce the amount of time I spend feeling like a flounder - flopping around desperately gasping for air at random intervals - but as I talk with my friends about the future, I also lend an ear to those who have expressed frustration at being pigeon-holed early in life - people who took on commitments at a young age and have house payments and college savings plans.
It makes me think that being a flounder isn't so bad.
I kind of like the fact that I can still change direction at any moment (flop flop). I have a tentative plan for my career, but it's relatively open. I don't own a house, I don't need to worry about dual career positions, I don't need to be looking for great school districts adjacent to wilderness areas, and I don't have to apologize to anyone for not having any of these things.
I think my compass will continue to point in the direction of the choice I think will make me the happiest - and that may or may not coincide with the best direction for my career at any given time.
And, as imporant as place is in my life, my direction will probably be influenced more by love than mountains (although having both would be nice...).
So even as I flop around a little, I try not to worry about it much. This life is catch and release.
I can see where I'm going, I just haven't decided which stream I want to take to get there.
And now for something completely different
13 years ago
3 comments:
I keep a "newspaper" on all things Yellowstone and follow news, blogs, among other things. It's very rare to have a ranger blog on Yellowstone, and I hope you can keep it up. Yellowstone is an especially political place, and I think that might keep a lot of rangers from blogging much.
My own theme song is "I still haven't found what I'm looking for," and that's definitely true about me. Yellowstone in particular is a place which brings searchers. Having worked for concessionaires in the park, I never met so many philosophy majors (as I was back then before getting a grad degree in the subject), so many people with such a life force.
Over time, I discovered where I was looking, where I needed to look, where I needed to be, if I still have never figured out the what. I think the where is a much more profound insight; the what is much more elusive (perhaps, that's the way it should be, to reduce ourselves to a "what" would be very limiting), but this place ... it is not limiting; it's endless. In any sagebrush is the universe; in Yellowstone there is the most diverse expression of the universe that I can imagine. Paradise itself can't be more interesting.
Thanks for reading, Jim. The search for our place in life is one, I think, that all people undertake whether they know it or not.
My blog is really just a place for me to explore that search. My writing has little, if anything, to do with the parks I work in...and has no information or even commentary on the management of those parks. Hopefully people following the link from your site to mine won't be disappointed by my ramblings about life and love.
I'm happy to share, though, if people are interested.
Cheers!
Well, I'm not disappointed, and I think the people who read my little corner of the internet and aren't turned off by my own meanderings are unlikely to be turned off, either.
I think it's hard to separate the two for me, though - the place I am and the life I live, the people and beings in it, and the outer environment that affects the inner search. That's no doubt why I tend to be eclectic, unable to settle down in one thing.
Anyhow, take care, and best of luck ...
Jim
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