Hmmm....What Do I Want?

I consider myself a fairly organized person. I'm a planner. I try to think ahead. But there are just some things that I am not good at.

Leaving the house in the morning is one. It usually takes me at least 4 tries to get out of the house with everything I need for the day. Lunch, keys, coffee, jacket....whatever. I can never get it all the first time.

I am also really bad when it comes to places that have a lot of things for me to choose from. Libraries are notoriously bad. CD and movies stores are bad, too. They all baffle me. I know that there are books and songs and movies that I really want, but the minute I step inside one of those places, I can't for the life of me remember what I want. Oh, I try to make lists, but those, too, seem to disappear. And if I'm lucky enough to have one of my lists at the right time, it usually ends up being useless because I'm not in the mood for whatever is on the list at that time.

It's amazing I have food in my house as I usually have the same problem at the grocery store.

So, with this obvious deficiency, I have no idea why I thought online dating would be a good idea.

Online dating, in theory, sounds like a plausible way to solve the problem of finding someone to spend time with. There are, however, some serious flaws.

First, if there are no available members of the opposite sex in your community to begin with, going online will not magically make them appear. Going online will only tell you exactly how far away they are from you and how unobtainable they are unless you own your own leer jet.

Second, if you do not own your own computer, you are screwed. There is nothing more humiliating than sitting in the back room at the local library with 12 pre-teens talking about Joe and Susie hooking up while trying to think of some witty username like "I'm4uinForks" designed to make people way too far away (see the previous flaw) give your profile even a cursory glance.

And don't even get me started on the profile....

When you decide to become a member of an online dating society the first thing you are asked to do is describe yourself and state why people should "pick you".

Now, if I knew unequivocably what would make people "pick me", I wouldn't be on the stupid online dating site in the first place.

Then comes the part when my mental deficiency starts to play it's part. After describing yourself, you are asked to describe what kind of person you are looking for.

Hmmm.....I can't figure out what kind of burrito I'm looking for in the frozen food aisle and I'm supposed to be able to state eloquently and provocatively what kind of man I'm looking for?!?

Seriously.

With this dilemma I think the most I can hope for is someone who can read and isn't a felon.

But I've learned a few things from this fiasco.

I've learned that just because you can write something on a list doesn't mean you can find it...or that you'll want it even if you do find it.

And I've learned that wandering the aisles isn't really that bad a way to find something. After all, it's the stand-outs that catch your eye while you're wandering. You may find something you didn't know you were even looking for.

So, happily, my membership with findafellowfreakshow.com expires at the end of the month and I'll soon turn my energies to bigger and better things.

Maybe I'll finally find that library book I was looking for....